By Ethan Santos
Title: The Paper Lion based on established history from the Exploring Simnaria project
Scene Overview:
A presumptuous Emperor chastises his subordinate, lashing out as his Empire crumbles beneath him
Setting:
An Emperors castle in the Late medieval/early renaissance
Characters:
Emperor Thaddeus Simnaria:
A middle aged unimposing man who couldn’t inspire a youth basketball team, much less an army
Lord Lazlo Lovash:
A young, crude, ambitious nobleman
Additional Info:
Exploring Simnaria is a collaborative world building project set in a medieval setting akin to one seen in Game of Thrones. It is primarily worked on by cofounders Alec Ratterree, and Ethan Santos. For more information visit our site at simnaria.org.
The Script
–
Thaddeus sits at the end of a table, with chairs flanking him on either side. Lazlo quietly enters, slowly drags the chair to the other end of the table, and sit down.
Lazlo: My Lord-
Thaddeus: Lord? Surely not! I am no Lord, I’ll have you know, and you will ardently address me by my full and most earned title!
Lazlo (annoyed): And that would be…
Thaddeus (matter of factly): His most Illustrious Excellency, Emperor Thaddeus the Second of Simnaria, Sultan of the Steppe, King of Keboria, Kosforr, and Lavestra, High Baron of Fordenne and Ironfell, and Descendant of the Conqueror.
Lazlo: Are you a fucking book? I’ve come here on important matters and you wish to talk about titles? Your son is dead, my Lord. The Blues march north, and they’re joined by John Kasra.
Thaddeus (stunned): John Kasra? My Brother in Law?
Lazlo (dryly): Yes
Thaddeus: And Fabian?
Lazlo: He’s pulled out of the West. The Marcher Lords have proven too stubborn a foe. He’ll encamp at the Citadel, perhaps before the Blues arrive.
Thaddeus (angrily): Why do you tell me such things? Do something! Stop them!
Lazlo (exasperated): Do what? The west is in revolt, the White Banner of your son is torn, his army smashed at the Jaw, the Blue Army marches north, you’ve exiled or killed your entire council, and Fabian remains leagues away! So tell me, my Lord, what am I to do? In fact, let me tell you this: what you should do is call the Lords of the Steppe, tell them to each gather as many men as they may, and with that army, rout the Blues yourself!
Thaddeus: Do you take me for a common field commander? What message would that send, having me, His most Illustrious Excellency, Emperor Thaddeus the Second of Simnaria, Sultan of the Steppe, King of Keboria, Kosforr, and Lavestra, High Baron of Fordenne and Ironfell, and Descendant of the Conqueror in the muck with a bunch of sword-swinging poors? No, no, I’m no warrior. That’s what my sons are for. Let them deal with such matters.
Lazlo: …
Thaddeus: Is that understood, boy?
Lazlo: Tread carefully, Thaddeus. I serve you because my Lord father did, because my family has served yours since the Sultan was slain! Do not forget that it was House Lovash who conquered the west with your ancestors. So if you won’t lead an army, I’ll lead it myself.
Thaddeus: Fabian can handle it.
Lazlo: Fabian commands a host of 10,000 men and 2,000 horse. The Blues have five times that. Do you mean to suggest that Prince Fabian could defeat them in the field, though he failed to defeat the Marcher Lords, few in number as they are?
Thaddeus (laughing): You count swords like a merchant counts gold, and mathematics has never been the language of Kings. The name-my name, “Simnaria” is what matters. The steppe-lords will answer Fabian’s call to arms because they must. It’s the natural order.
Lazlo: The natural order is the crows picking the flesh off of your men at the Jaw. It’s the worms crawling through the skull of Andronicus, assuming they haven’t burnt the body yet. Your name isn’t a shield anymore. Where are Simnarians feared? Fabian lost the West, we can only pray that Harold Genesis may tame it. Andronicus lost the Jaw, and with that, any hope of the Bay being brought under the fold. Even if you were to push the Blues back, you could never hope to reconquer anything past Rock Bay. The Blues aren’t marching to bow to you, they’re coming to measure your neck for a damn rope! (slamming his fist on the table)
Thaddeus: Aye, they might be. But you’ve forgotten my most important piece on this board
Lazlo (annoyed): If you say Fabian one more time..
Thaddeus: No, not him. Charles Baines Merit
Lazlo: You’d trust a jumped-up merchant to save you from this? He hasn’t pledged for either side. He’ll wait to see where the wind blows before he commits a single hull to this “natural order” of yours
Thaddeus (standing up, confidently): That jumped-up merchant was pulled from the muck by my father and wrapped in silk. He’s the Lord Admiral and he will commit because he must! I have pledges written in blood and ink that tie him to me!
Lazlo: Oaths don’t win wars.
Thaddeus: But they hang men!
Lazlo: You’re betting your life on a man who gave himself the name Merit. He could be Emperor with an ego that big.
Thaddeus: He will come. (Pauses, looks away for three seconds) One more thing, if John Kasra wishes to play at treason, he’s forgotten who holds his favorite sister. Send word to Sultanstadt; (Sul-tan-sh-tot) tell the Empress her brother’s behaving poorly, and I require her presence at Court. Leave me, now. I require a break from your pessimism. It’s beneath a man of your stature.
Lazlo: Right.
Simnaria 